Birthday cake

I was looking at cake in the patisserie this morning when the following thought sequence went through my mind:

Ooh look. Cake... haven't had cake for a while. Mmm. Lemony one looks nice. Probably last time I had one was for someone's birthday in the office.

Birthday...

*pause*

Office...

*low groan*

You may remember that I work in an office of just five employees. It is an office where a bizarre level of emphasis is placed on people's birthdays; we are routinely subjected to a *surprise* afternoon break, consisting of half an hour's banal conversation around the meeting table, some gooey chocolate cake, a mug of lukewarm coffee and a gift voucher for €50.

Of the four employees who are not me, two are nice, and two are batty. Last week, by some quirk of office diaries, I and one of the nice ones were left alone for four whole days. It was bliss. On Wednesday, he brought in some pastries for breakfast.

"Oooh thanks!" I said, "that's excellent coz I didn't have any breakfast this morning. You must be psychic!"

It was, of course, his birthday.

Now, admittedly, I have been a bit crap here. It wasn't that it wasn't there for all to see on the office calendar. It wasn't that I haven't been going on about it for about a month, because (can I admit this?) we actually forgot it last year too.

But, in my defence, is it not a little weird that he didn't mention anything? I mean, he's a lovely guy, and I do feel terrible, but when it's my birthday, I forewarn people. For their own good and mine - I don't want them to forget, and I don't want them to forget and then remember and know that I knew they forgot. It's not a test, after all. I know that my colleagues can't really be arsed with my birthday. But I also know they'd feel a bit rubbish if they forgot it, and, to be honest, so would I, a bit. So I do the decent thing and drop heavy hints for about four weeks beforehand, to save us all the embarrassment of them forgetting.

I suppose what I'm really saying is that he brought this whole thing on himself by being so secretive. He should bake me cake, to make up for putting me in such an awkward position. Selfish git.

x